Choose a fairytale that you like and rewrite it changing any/all of the following elements:
Point of view - For example, rewrite Snow White from the perspective of the Wicked Queen
Genre - For example, how would Cinderella fare in Chick-Lit, or Sleeping Beauty in Psychological Thriller?
Time - For example, can you image how Hansel and Gretel would translate into the 21st century? A couple of ASBO kids eating someone's house..
INT. WINE BAR – AROUND LUNCHTIME
SNOW WHITE: What are you drinking?
SLEEPING BEAUTY: Just a coke. I’m still on that medication. Anything else will send me to sleep.
SNOW WHITE: Just a little one?
SLEEPING BEAUTY: I can’t…oh go on then, I’ll have a vodka.
SNOW WHITE: A pint of lager and a vodka please.
SLEEPING BEAUTY: And coke.
SNOW WHITE: A vodka…
SLEEPING BEAUTY: Double…
SNOW WHITE: Double vodka and coke. Cheers. OMG! Did I tell you about Cinderella?
SLEEPING BEAUTY: No! Is that the girl with the hair? I love your lipstick, by the way.
SNOW WHITE: Thanks, Babe. No, that’s Rapunzel. Cinderella’s the one from work. Remember? Her mum died? Her dad’s really sweet but he married that massive bitch? With the two daughters that were in the year above us? They’re bitches too?
SLEEPING BEAUTY: Oh yeah, I remember.
SNOW WHITE: Well get this:
SLEEPING BEAUTY: The one who smells a bit…
SNOW WHITE: A bit what…
SLEEPING BEAUTY: Like she works in a kitchen.
SNOW WHITE: Yeah, whatever. Anyway, you know that party the Prince had on Saturday?
SLEEPING BEAUTY: Uh, don’t. I’m well gutted I didn’t go.
SNOW WHITE: Well did you hear what happened?
SLEEPING BEAUTY: He’s well fit.
SNOW WHITE: You know! Anyway, Cinderella’s dad is friends with his dad.
SLEEPING BEAUTY: No way!
SNOW WHITE: Yeah, so the whole family get invited but just before they leave, Cinderella has a bit of a barney with her step-sisters. They tear her brand new Karen Millen dress…!
SLEEPING BEAUTY: Shut up!
SNOW WHITE: Yeah! And somehow she gets the blame and has to stay at home, missing the party!
SLEEPING BEAUTY: That’s cold.
SNOW WHITE: Yeah, but, and this is just what I heard, while the rest of the family are at the party, this woman turns up claiming to be an old friend of Cinderella’s mum’s. After she hears what’s happened, she buys her a new dress…!
SLEEPING BEAUTY: What?
SNOW WHITE: …pays for her taxi, and packs her off to the party!
SLEEPING BEAUTY: That’s mental!
SNOW WHITE: That’s not the best bit. In all the rush, Cinderella’s forgotten her shoes, so this mystery woman gives her…GIVES HER…the Manolos off her feet!
SLEEPING BEAUTY: Fuck off!
SNOW WHITE: Seriously!
SLEEPING BEAUTY: So did she go to the party? What did her parents say? (Pint of lager and a double vodka and coke please.)
SNOW WHITE: They couldn’t say anything because when she finally made her entrance, the Prince couldn’t take his eyes off her! Apparently they were dancing all night while her skanky sisters just sat alone and watched.
SLEEPING BEAUTY: Wicked! So are they together now?
SNOW WHITE: I think so. At least, when she got a bit tipsy…
SLEEPING BEAUTY: As you do…
SNOW WHITE: …As you do...and lost one of her shoes. No, no, it’s okay, listen! She lost one of the shoes and He. Brought. It. Back. To. Her!
SLEEPING BEAUTY: Awww, no way! I’m so jealous!
SNOW WHITE: I know! She so deserves it though, bless her.
SLEEPING BEAUTY: I know! Awww, bless her.
SNOW WHITE: Pint of lager and a double vodka and coke please.
Dedicated to the Mr. Bloom Is Fit Club. :)
Scripts! Ain’t they a bitch? Thought the challenge was a massive one, with a LOT of scope, but feel your choice of topic and the scene set was a little unoriginal. Yep, I’m cracking out some constructive criticism, which can be viewed as either “fuck you Dave” or “fuck you Dave, but thanks for your constructive opinions”…!
ReplyDeleteStrengths:
Dialogue – very good, really enjoyed the characters and the flow of the conversation. Sounded natural and – essentially – was fun and easy to read.
Concept – great fun and nice to reduce these iconic figures to Heat-magazine reading gossip-mongers. Oddly gives them more of a human touch most of these tales frequently ignore.
Weaknesses:
Had no sense of space or time – was the bar packed, who else was there, where were the seven dwarves?! Think you missed out on some easy visual gags alongside the dialogue here.
No surprises – the Cinderella story (so to speak) we already know, so the conversion to your created reality (OUR reality, presumably) wasn’t a surprise and (on hindsight) her story, even as a fairytale, is actually quick realistic and transferable to our reality with little changes to the original tale. Perhaps choosing a more obscure or difficult-to-convert story would’ve made more impact. Like Humpty Dumpty or The Emperor’s New Clothes. Your previous piece (the werewolf vignette) was impactful and compelling because it was packed with intrigue and surprise. An author always needs to surprise, even when retelling an absolute classic. It’s why so many remakes (film wise) fail so bloody miserably…
But enough negativity!
This piece had a great voice and great dialogue, so don’t be dissuaded by my negatives and please say “fuck you Dave, but thanks for your constructive opinions”!
Fuck you, Dave. Only joking. To be honest, I was pushed for time (and a little drunk) and wrote it in about three minutes - a bit of a lazy attempt. I knew it was unoriginal but when I was thinking which one to do, I realised the idea of retelling fairy tales is unoriginal. I wrote it as a script and with little stage direction because it was a way of focusing on the speed of the dialogue. So I totally agree with what you say. Thanks. x
ReplyDelete